A Quote from David Kessler

“Grief doesn’t need a lot of time, but it needs dedicated time.”

I appreciate this quote because it reminds me of two things.

The first is that I can grieve and not stay in the grief. I can move in and out of it. Of course I understand that this might not be a truth for some of us. However, sometimes, we can devote some time to our grieving and then get on with the day. Our grief does not need to consume us. We can grieve in doses.

It also reminds me that it is important to make the time to grieve. Often in the holiday season, grief is discouraged. However, it is important to give yourself the space you need to let yourself grieve. Sometimes if we can just give ourselves a bit of time…

It is like a pressure cooker, if you can let a bit of steam out it will not explode. So, let yourself grieve. Set aside dedicated time.

Perhaps it is a candle lighting before bed, or a letter or journal entry in the morning. Or maybe you just make yourself your person’s favorite sandwich and sit down and have lunch with your grief.

The relationship doesn’t end when our loved ones die, it changes. We will always love our people, so why not have them join you for lunch.

It might be a walk in the woods, or a favorite piece of music.

Myself, I grieve my mother as I prepare the stuffing for the turkey (I still haven’t perfected it like she did after all these years). It is in the intention though, that I add the sage and the poultry seasoning and then taste, and then again and again. I remember my mother, and how I would watch and taste with her.

Oh so many ways to remember – it is necessary I think, this time of year, to give yourself permission to grieve.

Be Gentle.

Denise Torgerson
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