My mom loved her garden and flowers and she anticipated Mother’s Day every year – not to spend it with her family – oh no – it was to be in the garden; planting perennials, new rose shrubs, filling her numerous deck planters, and much to my brothers’ chagrin, moving rocks around to the very place she moved them from last year.
And although she liked the sentimental cards and free lunch that came with Mother’s Day, her true joy was found spending the Canadian Tire money that she saved up for the whole year so that she could spend it all on flowers!
Mother’s Day came just over three months after my mom died. It was bitter sweet to be sure as I was so grateful that she was no longer in pain, but so sad that she was gone, and to be honest it continues to be bitter sweet even now. No longer would we be giving sentimental cards nor taking her to Montana’s for lunch (her favorite spot); no longer seeing her joy in her garden or the relief that rocks wouldn’t need to be moved in quite the same way again.
Her legacy lives on in us – the one thing that brings her to our hearts and souls and a smile to our face fully and faithfully every year. My sister and I buy our yearly hanging baskets from Canadian Tire every year in her honour (we save our own Canadian Tire money every year for this very purpose); our daughters buy their hanging baskets from there as well. As for our brothers… well seeing rocks in anyone’s garden causes them anxiety and sweat and yet at the same time they continue to be relieved that they don’t have to move them. Her ashes rest alongside a memorial stone made to look like a rock – with daylilies planted around it by her grandchildren and great grandchildren.
To all of us who have lost our moms – Happy Mother’s Day to us! May you rest well, remember with a smile, and plant a flower.
Fay Leman
Grief Support Coordinator
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