Another day of celebration. Another day that magnifies the absence. Another day of pain.
This Mother’s Day, as you make your plan to get through it – Practice the “Three C’s of Coping”
Choose, Communicate, Connect
Choose what is best for you. Do you want to mark the day with ritual? If that feels good, then do it. There are many ways to ritualize your grief on days that feel that much harder.
Light a candle and keep it lit for the day. Say a silent hello every time you walk by it.
Write a letter to your loved one, or write a letter to yourself. Sometimes getting thoughts out of our head is helpful.
Plant a flower or bush, walk your person’s favorite path, Sometimes being outside with our grief seems to give it more space. Grief can feel constricting.
Cook your person’s favorite meal, or cook the meal that was your favorite that your mother made for you.
These are some ways to ritualize your grief and remember your person.
Or Do Nothing. Sometimes it just feels better to ignore the day. That’s just as healthy.
Choose. You get to decide. Sometimes we can feel helpless, like we have lost control. On this day, take your power back. Choose to do whatever feels best.
Communicate. You have the right to have needs. You have the right to tell people what you need on this day. Often people want to help and they don’t know how, or they think they know how and they are not helpful at all. Tell them. If you need help with something, reach out to people who are able to be with you as you grieve and ask for help.
Connect. Find your safe people and connect. We are wired for connection. Often when we grieve the tendency is to isolate. On this day, you might feel even more lonely. Combat this by reaching out, even a phone call with a friend.
Choose, Communicate and Connect.
These are three strategies for getting through a hard day. Self care is crucial this week.
Be Gentle,
Denise Torgerson
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