I know this is the season of giving. I will admit that giving to others is a very good way to care for yourself. Generosity of time and spirit can be incredibly helpful when we are grieving.

However this year, as part of your self-care, I would ask you to be radical. Do not get too wrapped up in the “should”.

Listen to your inner voice and do what feels best. Give yourself permission to make plans and give yourself permission to change them if you want to.

Do you need a mini break, just let everyone know you will be right back and go lay down for a few minutes.

Do you feel like you need to ask for help with something? Then please do. Our energy levels are depleted when we grieve. You are allowed to delegate this year.

Let yourself off the hook this year. Tell your inner critic to be quiet. Often when we grieve, we are hardest on ourselves. We listen to our inner critic and we struggle because we are struggling. Allow all of this just to be.

Taking care of ourselves can seem selfish to some, it isn’t. We can find the balance between giving AND receiving. We can find the balance between doing AND resting.

The grief can be overwhelming at times. Let yourself do whatever you need to do. Call a friend, lay down, cry, and look at your pictures. The point is – what feels best right now is what is right.

Be Gentle, be ever so gentle with yourself right now.

Denise Torgerson
Community Programs