The holiday season can be challenging when you are grieving. One may feel as if you are on a roller coaster of emotions.
Forced festivities can create feelings such as knots in your stomach, making you feel unwell, want to hide or crawl into your bed and cover your head until the festivities are over.
So how does one gather up enough strength to face the overload of good cheer? Perhaps it’s skipping traditions. Rather than focusing on the empty seat your loved one once sat in, maybe ease into this new normal and try a buffet style dining instead of seated meal style. Make the day purposely different.
Have an exit plan, when things get tough at home or at someone else’s home, it can feel uncomfortable, be honest about this being a difficult time for you, you may have to excuse yourself. Lean on a friend to be your reason to leave early from an event. Remember, it’s okay not to go at all, or not hold your own festivities this year. This is about YOU, not what others expect of you.
You may find solace in volunteering; this can be a way to honour your loved one and just to be with people. There can be a wonderful feeling when we reach out and help others in need.
It’s okay to just think of you. What do you want to do? Maybe a vacation, manicure and pedicure, a walk in the forest. Read in bed in the comfort of a cozy blanket and a cup of tea. Snuggle by a fireplace with your cat or dog, maybe both. Perhaps ask a friend to grab your groceries for you or take the children to a movie for you. Do this so you can enjoy some solitude and be present in your own personal moment.
Expect the unexpected, holidays can flood you with emotions. Give yourself permission to feel what you need to feel. Treat yourself how you would treat your best friend, set aside any expectations of what you feel the holidays need to be like.
Lastly, do not feel guilty if you have a good time. You deserve to feel joy even when you are mourning. Joy and grief can be mixed. It’s okay to sit around with family and friends laughing and crying.
Sussex Publishers. (n.d.). How to survive the holidays when you’re grieving. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/grace-in-grief/202311/how-to-survive-the-holidays-when-youre-grieving?msockid=257e6028083f608030bc7514098761b4
Erin Connelly,
Community Programs
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