Anything but Thankful at Thanksgiving

Anything but Thankful at Thanksgiving

Oh boy, another holiday. The fall has been beautiful this year. The colors seem more vibrant than ever. I am thankful for this. Here is the thing though, Thanksgiving is another day that makes our loss seem more present. When we participate in our traditional...
Who is on Your Support Team?

Who is on Your Support Team?

It can be surprising – people we look to for support just aren’t there for us. Or they are there for us, but in a way that is unhelpful. Sometimes our friends and family just don’t have the capacity to hold space for us. It can be necessary to rewrite your contact...
The Inner Work of Healing

The Inner Work of Healing

We have heard it so many times – you have to feel to heal, or the only way out is through, or we need to feel our feelings not ignore them. While I agree with all of these statements, the question I hear often is how? How am I supposed to feel this? How do I know if I...
If Only

If Only

If only our society had a better understanding of grief. If only we understood – all of us, that there is no time line. We do not “get over” our grief in 3 days, 3 weeks, or even 3 months. Depending on the relationship, grief can take a long time. David Kessler states...
Puddle Jumping

Puddle Jumping

This a term created by Carla Mitchell to describe how children grieve. I love the metaphor. Children hop in and out of grieving, just like they hop in and out of puddles. It can look like they do not grieve. They grieve a bit and then go on playing. Some adults are...
Who Am I Now?

Who Am I Now?

It is not often recognized as a part of grieving. When we lose someone we love, our world changes and so we have to change. I hear this in grief groups a lot. Who am I now? Am is still a wife? Am I still a sister? Am I still a dad? We define ourselves by our roles....