That’s the kicker. That’s it right there. That, at least in my experience, is one of the most difficult parts of grieving.

I don’t know what I am feeling.

There is so much discomfort. As we sit in this – there is a sensing of wanting to move. It is like we want to move away from the discomfort. We want to get away from this feeling of, well, of I don’t know what I am feeling.

When we can put words on it, when we can name it, we can breathe through it, or cry it out, or perhaps write an angry letter, or a letter of forgiveness. We can take some kind of action to help us move through the feeling. We can intentionally feel to heal.

Wow though, when we don’t know what we are feeling, well, that is …. Ha, how do you describe something when you don’t know what it is? That is the conundrum.

Perhaps a walk will help, or a nap, or a talk with a friend. Perhaps we can distract by watching something on Netflix. I have no answers.

It is a part of grieving though, to not know, and this is hard. I can’t heal if I can’t feel it, and If I don’t know what it is I am feeling,  I can’t feel it.

And I see that it sounds crazy, but it isn’t. It is a part of the grieving process. It is important to recognize this and to know that we can move through even this. It can take time, it can take caring and it can take patience.

We are not crazy, we are grieving. I love the quote by Megan Divine. “It’s okay that you’re not okay”.

Deep breathe – it’s okay that you’re not okay.

Denise Torgerson
Community Programs