And then there are the days when the missing is just more intense. It feels like there is an enormous absence in our life and we just feel like crap. There is nothing we can do about it. We can’t shift into anything that feels positive or hopeful. One of those days….
Sometimes there is frustration around this, geez why can’t I shake this?
Sometimes there is fear, oh my god, what if this is what the rest of my life will look like?
Sometimes there is – well you know. I don’t have to name all of the dark emotions. You know what this feels like.
On these days, how do we hold ourselves?
The answer is – the only way out is through. Can we allow this to be here? Can we hold ourselves gently when we feel so horrible?
She said that she literally laid on her couch for two days and did nothing. She just felt so heavy, so bad, that she knew she had to let it be.
He would go swimming. Every time he got in the water he would cry. He said he would do lap after lap and cry and cry and just let it out. There was nothing he could do to change it.
She said, today, I got up, I got dressed and I went outside. That is all I could do. She knew that it was enough.
Again, sometimes the only way out is through. So if you are feeling like crap – (I think that is the only word that works here) if you are feeling like crap, let yourself. Give yourself an hour, a day or a weekend, and just feel like crap. You will move out of it. You will move through it.
Honor yourself, honor your grief, honor your feelings.
Be gentle with yourself.